For years now my husband and I have been working with couples to help them find the amazing marriage that God has designed for them to live. Many of the lessons I have learned came from a 20-year failed marriage. After spending 20 years learning what not to do, I have spent the next decade learning what to do from the best teacher of all, the Bible. Yes, I have done research in other books and from other great teachers but the ultimate lessons about marriage still come from the God that created marriage in the first place.
Wives, your husband’s number one need is for respect. Believe me when I tell you I was the queen of disrespect for 20 years and didn’t even know it. I have many times had to apologize to my ex-husband for being so disrespectful. I have spent countless hours learning how to be respectful. Yes, I’m still in the respect school, but God has used my amazing husband and partner in everything, Steven to help me learn. He has also given me a great group of male pastors to work everyday with who are great at helping me identify disrespect in my life (they do it because I ask them to). The reason I need this help is because disrespect can be so sneaky and subtle. I often times find myself being disrespectful without even realizing it. You see girls, disrespect to a guy is much different than to us. I’m getting so much better, but I’m confident it will be something I have to continue to work on for the rest of my life.
In my Bible study today I read Ephesians 4:29
29 Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good andbeneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it. (AMP)
One thing I have learned is that most disrespect comes straight out of your mouth. If we can get better at living out Ephesians 4:29, we can decrease our disrespectfulness by so much. In James 3:2 tells us that if we don’t offend with our tongues we are a perfect manor in this case a perfect woman. We can learn to be respectful in our speech. We can meet the number one need of our spouses. Watch what comes out of your mouth. Live out Ephesians 4:29. As you do you will begin to see your marriage become a living example of God’s design.