Have you ever had a day at work where you just lost it? Have you found yourself in tears in the middle of a meeting with men that you work with? I have for sure. Let me tell you about a wonderful display of disrespect I made last year at work. As many of you know, I work at Victory Church in Oklahoma City. I must admit this is a great job and I love the people I get to work with everyday. I am fortunate to work with some of the most gifted people on the planet. Many of them are men. Having said that working at a mega church can be stressful at times. Contrary to popular beliefs we do not float around on clouds in a prayerful state all day. It is probably the hardest job I have ever had as the Director of Small Groups. At any rate, last year I had the opportunity to go to the Bahamas on a vacation. I was frantically working to get all of my work done so everything would be covered before I left. Two days before I was scheduled to leave I found out about a change that was going to be made that would really affect some of the groups that meet at my church. Let me go on record as saying the fact that I got left out of the loop on something that affect my department was completely an oversight and not anything that was intentional AT ALL. However, because of the amount of stress I felt I was under to get everything done at work and at home and getting my family ready to travel for a week and making arrangements for a house sitter for our dogs, you know the usual mom/wife/travel agent role we women play, I was not as aware of my emotions as I should have been. To say that I didn’t handle this situation well is quite the understatement. I lost my cool and added an unnecessary amount of emotion to every conversation I had all the way up the food chain. (Never ever ever ever a good idea) I was wrong wrong wrong. I will say that the men I worked with did extend a great deal of grace to me but I really believe I could have gotten much better results had I taken a few minutes and collected my thoughts and used a much more professional approach. Lesson learned. I have been much more diligent from then on to stay on top of my feelings in the office. I admit I am not perfect but I am improving.
Today I found an amazing podcast from Focus on the Family by Shaunti Feldhahn. I have loved her book For Women Only for many years. When I was busy learning about respect and submission in my marriage, her book gave me great practical insight. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be respectful, I just didn’t know what it looked like. Her book gave me real, practical ideas about some changes that I needed to make to be more respectful. It was really the beginning of the journey for me that led me to where I am today. If you haven’t read For Women Only, buy a copy and read it soon. So back to this post, the podcast I ran across was about how men perceive disrespect in the workplace. Even more the concept of how we as women unknowingly hinder ourselves by being disrespectful with the men that we work with. This was a great extension to the idea of being a respectful wife. So I am sharing the podcast with the hopes that it will give other women some insight that will help them as much as it has me. If after listening to the podcast if you are interested in finding out more you can pick up Shaunti’s new book For Women Only in the Workplace. Becoming a a respectful employ will be beneficial to women everywhere.
Women, I would love to hear your feedback on how you handle emotional situations at your workplace or trials that you have encountered working with men. I would also love to have feedback from men who have experienced women who are emotional at work. You opinion matters, please share it.