I have been working with several wives who are in marriages that don’t bring them the joy they would love to have. They are being very diligent to learn what the Bible has to say about wives being respectful, honoring, and submitted to their husbands. There is a very common theme that I hear from all of these women. That theme is I just don’t get treated right and I don’t understand why we can’t seem to get on the same page. I would like to offer some insight to all the women who would say, “I know exactly how they feel.”
Unfortunately, in our society honor and respect is truly a lost value. We have replaced honor and respect with women’s lib and equality. Please do not stop listening before you have time to hear me out. I believe that men and women are created equal. I believe that God has great plans for both men and women to be treated in a kind way that demonstrates their true value. However, what we have learned in our society is that in order for there to be equality, men should think like women and women should think like men. Well, there is a fundamental problem with this school of thought. Men and women were created very differently and with very different responsibilities and roles. So to maintain the idea that we should all think alike is setting us up for hurts, relationship problems, and exactly what we have, a skyrocketing divorce rate.
Disrespect is such a huge problem for women in relationships because they don’t truly understand what it is. You see, what women see as completely respectful men do not. If you have ever been in a circle of women having conversation, the first you might notice is they are all talking at the same time. If your a women, you are probably thinking, so what’s the problem. A group of women can all talk at the time be engaged in all the conversations and not think anything about it. However, a man would find it very hard to stay connected and would feel completely disrespected. You see when you talk over a man when he is talking it communicates to him that you are not listening and that you don’t respect his thoughts, words, and ideas. The problem is a lot of women I talk to have trouble understanding that idea or often say “well, why doesn’t he just get over it or why can’t he change?” The problem is that he is not a girl, he doesn’t act like a girl, he doesn’t process like a girl and he doesn’t communicate like a girl. He is NOT designed to be a girl. Guys are created differently and that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them, it just means they are different.
Learning how to be respectful and communicate respect to men in our conversations is critical if you ever want to have the best relationship. To help women with this concept I would like to share a wonderful blog I read today. I read this blog nearly every day and I think she does a great job of helping women understand how to be a respectful, honoring, peaceful wife. Here’s her thoughts about conversation today. Peacefulwife’s blog I hope that you will find this as helpful as I do.
I just want to end by encouraging wives to begin to rethink how you relate to your husband and consider the idea of becoming respectful and honoring to him. I believe that if you truly work on this very important area of you marriage you will see some amazing results that will help you have the marriage you have always wanted.
To the men who read my blog: I would love to hear your comments on respect and honor and how that can be communicated to you by your wife.