Recently I have spent a great deal of time reading other people’s blogs. This is very new to me. I enjoy the huge amount of great information available. There are so many people who have great thoughts and are like minded. I have really learned a lot. Not only do they provide information, but the also spark thoughts about things that might have otherwise really just been neglected. Case in point, I just read one of my favorite blogs called The Peaceful Wife where she asked the question, “What has happened to chivalry?”
After reading her blog I began to realize just how much we have done in our society to destroy chivalry. With the advancement of the Women’s Liberation Movement, chivalry has been reduced. Now before you get up in arms I am not against women having equal rights and I am not saying that women didn’t receive some great benefits from this movement. I am saying that there are times what starts out as something wonderful and necessary can get out of balance to the point that is causes harm in some areas. The movement is, in my opinion, one of those things. We have spent a lot of time teaching our girls to be independent and strong, which is good, but we have often times taught them to the point that they are unable to allow men to be the men we really want them to be. It’s funny that the very traits we love in a man are the traits that we have eliminated. We no longer wait for a man to open the door for us, we no longer wait for a man to assist us with our chair, we no longer allow them to assist us up or down the stairs and yet I hear many women say that men don’t have manners and are inconsiderate. I just don’t think we can have it both ways. Either we are self sufficient or we allow men to be courteous. How many of us as mothers demonstrate or teach our daughters how to allow men to be chivalrous? We need to teach our girls they need to give a man time to be a gentlemen. They can’t open the door for you if you are rushing ahead of them. They can’t help you with your jacket it you just yank it out of the closet and put it on. Allowing them to be the men that we really want them to be takes an effort on our part. We must make a conscious effort to be patient and to be courteous to them.
Just as a side note I would love to talk about how amazing my husband, Steven is. He is always there to open the door, to help me with my jacket, to give me his hand when I’m on unsteady ground. I never have to pump my own gas or wash my own car. He loves being a gentlemen and pampering me and I love for him to do that. He is such a great example of a gentlemen that I tell my daughter all the time, never marry a man that doesn’t treat you at least as good as Steven treats me. Along with this advice, I am obligated to teach her how to be a lady and to allow guys to be a gentleman. Steven would add here that his mother, Eileen did a great job of training him. So I would like to say a big thank you to Eileen as well.
So having said all this, ladies, it’s our choice. We can’t complain that men are not gentlemen or chivalrous if we don’t allow them to be. We need to continue to encourage men and boys in our lives to demonstrate chivalry and teach the our girls to act like ladies.